just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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