Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
