i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
