I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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