you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Everyone says I win the strip club
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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