can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
