home. puking in laundry basket.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
