i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
