Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
