I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
