Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
