Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
