i just wanna soil my oats bro
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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