Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize