I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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