Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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