my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just found puke in my bra..
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
