Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
