well I can't set my house on fire every night
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i think i have two assholes
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
