Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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