So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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