4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
