Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
