guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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