She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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