you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
