i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
