Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
