It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
