I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
