who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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