so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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