Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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