I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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