Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
