I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize