He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
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My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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