I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
