i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
