That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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