Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize