I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
