i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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