ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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