bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i need some magic done to my vagina
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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