if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
