just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
