nut hugger
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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