maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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