Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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