she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
