i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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