I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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