Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
