She tied me up with her honor cords...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
