Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
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She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
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He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president