Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????