Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
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It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!