He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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