I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
