i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize