whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
